“Heal. Release. Move on. Thrive!” – Read “Letter To My Daughter at 20″

You know those days when you get soo bored (yeah we have all been there). I was struck with boredom and I decided to surf the internet, and then I came across this article written by Debbie Edwards. I came across this article at a time I really needed it most. You may be 20 or 25,they say “age is a number” and it is never too late to learn something new. I dedicate this post to all my girlfriends and to all the ladies out there. It will be selfish of me not to share this with you.


I hope you’ll feel the way I felt after reading this article and I also hope you learn from it. ENJOY…

My darling, as you turn 20, I wanted to share a few of life’s most important lessons with you. You will have many significant people through your life, and a best friend. You do not need to be intimidated by your best friend, or your boyfriend, mother or job for that matter. Trust those who show you the truth in them. We all need allies in life; but remember the benefit of the doubt is subjective, don’t give it to just anybody.

When fear threatens to cloud you, don’t let it. If fear is what pushes you to do something, make a decision DON’T DO IT, DON’T MAKE IT! If fear is the reason for putting something off, for procrastinating with an important decision, DO IT WITHOUT DELAY.

The success and happiness of your thirties is directly correlated to the decisions you make in your 20’s. People will always feel they know what’s good for you. Take the advice, nod, even mull it over, but in the end, do what YOUR HEART feels is right for YOU.

When faced with a decision, ask yourself three questions; is this the right decision? Is it for the right reasons? Is it the right time? If your answer is YES! YES! YES! You won’t go far wrong in life.

In everything you choose to do, be kind. Kindness is a rare commodity; it puts you and your interests behind that of the next person, not just in grand gestures, but even in the little things. It emanates from the heart, and is felt by those who cannot be fooled by insincerity. A shortcut to morality is the golden rule of life; ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ you’ll discover that this really is the start of wisdom and righteousness.

And while we’re on the subject of morality, relationships will NEVER be clear, it isn’t the nature of things. But you can help yourself by doing an exercise; make 3 lists: 1. What you ‘want’ in the man you love 2. What you would ‘like’ in the man you love 3. What you will not tolerate in any man in your life.

And stick to this list…preferably the first list. Standards dictate who we let into our heart, who stays there, and who deserves to be there. The more you compromise with these lists, the longer it will take to find your soulmate.

While looking for him, never covet what another woman has. Let what is meant to be yours, come to you. This habit people have of running in packs isn’t all that healthy either, after all the saying goes ‘relationSHIPS sink when they have too many passengers. You don’t need to let everybody in. And while you’re at it, Jealousy sucks! Try being on the receiving end of it, you’ll understand how damaging it can be to any relationship. Spending a fun weekend with someone is not enough to know if you really like them. You only really get to know people in their reactions when things are not going their way, and over a prolonged period. Further down the line when you think it’s a done deal, it’s still NEVER going to be ok to have sex in your parents house, unless you’re married. Get over it!

There’s never going to come a time when you should stop feeding the child in you. It’s the part of you which will always experience the real beauty of life, afresh, every time. Don’t ever be afraid of your own company. For anyone to love being with you, you must first love being with yourself. Wear your hair EXACTLY as you please. Society will have to get used to it. When you are choosing clothes think about what this will tell people about you when you wear them…and always be true to who you are. Everything on the outside should be a further expression of what is on the inside. Save! Yes, now IS the right time to do so.

There will be rough times, and you must survive your own traumas, but don’t fall victim to your story. Heal. Release. Move on. Thrive! It’s your motivation which will dictate the results of ANY action.

Always try to come from a good place. It will show. My darling you’ll never stop learning, and, while education is a leveler, LIFE is the best teacher. Best case scenario, use both. Reading is a joy! Read! It’s never too late to learn to love books. But if the books you’re reading don’t make you a better person, you’re reading the wrong books. Quality of life is what you give to yourself. Not what your job or your relationship gives you.

Decide what you love to do, and start doing it TODAY.

Heal. Release. Move on. Thrive! I hope you get the message and you learnt one or two things. Don’t be an alien, please leave a comment. HAPPY NEW MONTH!!

Proactive or Reactive the choice is yours...

                                 
                                        

To be chosen as one of the prefects in my secondary school was a very big deal. The criteria are quite high. Firstly nominations, and then you go through the teachers and principals’ sort of stage viewing. Where you are called into a room full of teachers and you are just meant to stand there and be examined. God bless you if you don’t greet like the proper Omo Yoruba that you are, lol. This could be very intimidating, and then you start thinking in your mind “have I been rude to this teacher or that teacher” and then praying deep within that you have a clean slate.

Okay, before I get carried away with the whole prefect selection process; are you PROACTIVE or REACTIVE?

Being proactive means to take control and responsibility for your life, also taking responsibility for your own behavior (past present and future). Proactive people understand that they are responsible for their own happiness or unhappiness. They don’t blame others for their own actions or feelings. Being proactive is the key to unlocking ones inner self. Proactive people make choices on values, they think before they act. They recognize that they cannot control everything that happens to them. Being proactive is more than taking initiative, proactive people are agents of change and chose not to be victims to be reactive or blame others.

Reactive people make choices based on impulse. They are like a can of soda pop. When life shakes them up a bit, the pressure builds and they suddenly explode. Reactive people are often affected by their social environment, when people treat them well they feel well, when people don’t they become defensive or protective. If the weather is good they feel good. If it isn’t it affects their attitude and their performance. Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behaviors of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them.

Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven, and if their value is to produce good quality, it isn’t a question of whether the weather is conducive or not.

You fail a test, someone calls you names, someone talks behind your back or a driver overtakes you wrongly. What do you do about these daily happenings? Do you scream, get angry and let it affect your whole day or do you handle it calmly? Only you can decide to be proactive or reactive about it. The choice is really yours.

However, if you wondered about the prefect selection process, the good news is that I was finally chosen as a prefect and due to that I was privileged to speak on being Proactive or Reactive on one of the assembly sessions.

Have a lovely weekend and remember that the choice is yours!

Photo credit – colour box

IBADAN HERITAGE MALL – could it be initial gragra

On a sunny Afternoon, I will rather stay indoors on my bed watching SCANDAL! When I think of the kinky love Olivia pope and the President share, I will go all red if I were an oyinbo girl (white girl). They are just so beautiful together I can’t get over them.




Just as I was watching another episode of scandal one sunny afternoon, a friend of mine called my attention to a picture on IG with tags “ #ibadanmall #cinema”. Eish I shouted, I was so excited I started doing my chicken dance, LOL. I heard a gist like a year ago that a mall was being built, and now that it is opened I couldn’t help but brag to my lagosian friends. I went on and on about how I couldn’t wait to come home. It’s been a long time coming for Ibadan and we youths have been waiting for this.



I thought to myself, Ibadan is stepping up ooo, now people get a place to go when they come for holidays and lovers (wink), yea lovers, families and a lot of people can add the mall to their list of places to visit.

As interesting as that sounds, I decided to give myself a break and come back to reality .If you grew up in IB or you live in IB you would have noticed an initial rush that IB people have concerning relaxation or entertainment places. And after a few months the place goes all dull and just a few still visit.

My friends and I got talking and they felt that the response of Ibadan peeps to the mall is just initial gragra(initial urge). They believe that after a few months the whole gragra will die down. Contrary to what my friends think I believe this mall is here to stay obviously and it is definitely not going to be a short term thing, unlike some other outlets. Even though the mall is yet to be completed, the fact that new shops are going to open will keep people interested. The thought of Shoprite alone definitely wows the Ibadan people. And for the initial urge, I think it’s because it’s a new place and it is very normal and it won’t affect the mall in the long run. What Ibadan people need are varieties which am sure we are getting soon…





What do you guyz think. Do you think people will react positively to the mall in the long run or do you also feel it is initial gragra like my friends think, that it will die down with time and why do you think so?

Enjoy the rest of the week, and please leave your comments. I will love to know what you think.

Muslim Diet (Fasting in Ramadan)

Muslim Diet (Fasting in Ramadan)

Benefits include;

·         Spiritual and mental health

·         Self-discipline and empowerment

·         Purification and detoxification

·         Physical wellbeing

What happens in your body during fasting?

·         Within 2-4 hours, glycogen in liver and muscles used up

·         After 6-8 hours, stored fat begins to be used as fuel

·         The body will enter a mini starvation state

·         After few days – endorphins released

·         Relaxed feeling

·         General wellbeing

·         More alert

Protein stores used if prolonged starvation occurs

Nutrition related complications during fasting

·         Dehydration

·         Headaches, constipation, poor concentration

·         Common in first few days

·         Ensure minimum of 6-8 drinks (1.5-2.0L)

·         Avoid drinks - fizzy/sweetened/strong coffee/energy drinks

·         Have water, sugar free squash, dilute pure fruit juice, tea, milk

·         Look for straw coloured urine

Nutrition related complications during fasting cont…

·         Headaches

·   Dehydration, lack of sleep, poor eating habits, addictive substances

·   Always have suhoor and iftar meals

·   Include foods from the 4 main food groups and limit fatty foods

·   Avoid direct sunlight, relax, engage in zhikr/prayer

·   Prophylactic painkillers

Nutrition related complications during fasting cont…

·         Constipation

·         Poor fluid intake, poor fibre intake, less activity and not enough fruit and vegetables

·         Increase intake of fibre, fruit and vegetables, fluid and activity

·         Laxatives may be required

Nutrition related complications during fasting cont…

·         Weight Gain

·         Increased fat and sugar intake

·         Overeating

·         Limit portion sizes

·         Limit fatty and sugary foods

·         Use healthier methods of cooking

·         Self-discipline

·         Use self-assessment tool/keep food diary

Nutrition related complications during fasting cont…

·         Heartburn/indigestion/bloating

·         Overeating

·         Fatty foods, spicy foods, caffeinated drinks and spicy foods

·         Limit portion sizes

·         Stagger food and drinks

·         Limit fried and highly seasoned foods

·         Antacid remedies

·         Self-discipline

Foods to include at Suhoor and Iftar Meals

·         Include foods from the 4 main food groups at each meal

·         High fibre complex carbohydrate foods

·         Low GI foods i.e. porridge, beans and pulses, vegetables and fruits, yoghurt

·         Include protein and dairy foods

·         Include portions of fruit and vegetables

·         Limit fatty and sugary foods

Tips to prevent overeating

·         Breakfast with 1,3, 5 dates and water

·         Pray maghrib

·         Then have iftar meal

____________________________________________________

·         Use a smaller plate

·         Sip your drinks in between eating

·         Chew each morsel well before swallowing

·         Avoid grazing on snacks

·         Limit high calorie/fizzy drinks

·         Delay your dessert – you may not need it!

Extracted from THE MUSLIM DIET by Zakkiyah Ansari